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The more I pressure myself into writing a sensational year-end post, the more I arrive with nothing. Because that is what 2022 is/was — sensational.

As I look back to 2022 in an apparent slow motion, my most significant takeaway is the importance of living for oneself. 2022 is a year of transformation and execution. It's a year of building a life I don't want to to regularly escape from. I am still very much in the thick of it.

I started a new life in an unfamiliar soil with a completely different language, culture, without friends nor family, nor a job. Jobless at 31, I went back to university to study a new language. But at the same time, I was everywhere — meeting new people, seeing the world, collecting memories, experiencing diversity, having adventures, traveling to places I never thought I would, enjoying the joy and serenity of far niente.

As fitting as it may seem, it's not a romantic story of an Asian girl who found her way in one of the most dreamed-about country in the world. This year was a story of a woman who finally accepted a new challenge and then took it by the throat. It's a story of a woman who was brave and afraid at the same time — who had the right kind of curiosity to leave her comfort zone, the right kind of tenacity to face loneliness and live with it, and the right kind of courage to go after her goals even if it means leaving everything behind. But I also would like to think that I'm a lucky woman, with Max being always by my side.

French people like to say the phrase "On est bien la", which means "We are good here." Being able to find contentment in nearly everything, not fixating on the future, on what will come next. From the most messed up times to plain jane days, I try to find bliss in what we have. Preparing food, taking care of my plants, reading books, ending the day on the couch drinking tea, reading a book, or talking about the day that has been. I am grateful for this life, for this year. I still worry about the future, but I try not to dwell on it. 2022 let me open a new perspective on life.

I hope 2023 will be another year of discoveries, of taking more risks. I hope to come back and report a year of living as my authentic self, more accepting and less apologetic. Letting go, more forgiving. 

Happy New Year, self. Cheers to making it to 2023. 🥂








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After three weeks of "back to school", we are on vacation again. Yay or nay? 

Franchement? Je pense que, a ce moment-la, c'est pas tellement necessaire. Mais oui, c'est les vacances de la Touissant. Une semaine pour rien à faire :)

If there is one good thing that growing old has thought me, it is learning how to enjoy my time of being alone, my solitude. I learnt how to say "No, I cannot go out today." Not because I have somewhere else to be, or something else to do, but because I don't have the emotional or mental capacity to socialize, or to go out. I enjoy my time staying at home, listening to music while drinking my tea. I enjoy preparing my own food, and feeding myself. I enjoy doing yoga, even just for 20 minutes. I enjoy having apero by myself, a glass of kir in one hand, and a small plate of charcuterie. I enjoy reading, or watching a movie alone. I enjoy the little things. Busying myself with my plants, some house chores, writing, journaling,.. I appreciate the silence, the serenity, the slowness of time.

Savourer le silence, la sérénité. Parfois, c'est le silence qui parle. Etre dans la joie, meme toute seule. 

May people learn to normalise these. May people learn the power of saying "No". 

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We went back to Hyères after staying for only 3 days in Lyon. It was necessary for Max to stay with his parents. And those days were filled with sports and just chilling at home. 

The PACA region has really so much to offer. We visited another commune located 25 minutes from Hyères by car called Belgentier. We wandered around the small village. There's really something about old buildings and houses that makes it feel rustic and artsy. Here are some photos I took:

photo 1
 
 
 


We also did a small hike/walk of around 8km. The weather was very cooperative that day, perfect for a day out. 

 

 

Out of the 6 days I spent in Hyères, we went to L'Appart Fitness (gym) three times. What an achievement for my lazy butt! We tried a session of Circuit Training which I liked a lot, and then the usual Body Pump session. I think I've already given up on the idea of exercising to lose weight. Losing weight requires a diet, and I certainly don't have the discipline for that. So I guess I'm reframing my mindset into — "I'm exercising so that I can eat whatever I want." Not exactly whatever I want, really. I still watch what I eat thought, just not as strictly as someone in a diet.

With Max's mom, we visited "Le Gapeau" — a small coastal river with man-made waterfalls. I thought at first that we will do another hike, but we only walked less than 1km to reach the waterfall. It was a pleasure walk instead, along the vineyard with the autumn sun.



I then went back to Lyon after almost 6 days. And I went back alone, 'cause my 2nd second semester of classes was starting. It was the first time I took the train all by myself, and I should say it was quite fulfilling. 

So yeah, I spent a week in Lyon without Max. Again, quite fulfilling. 

Now let me talk about my 1st week of classes. I received my schedule 2 days before the classes start, and to my disappointment, it starts at 8:00am in the morning. And I should mention, I was late on the first day. Hehehe 

So the next day after, I set four alarms on my phone— first is for waking up at 6:40am, second at 6:55am to remind me to finish breakfast, third at 7:10am reminding me to finish my make up, and lastly is at 7:20am telling me that I should go soon. In addition, there's Alexa telling me at 7:22am "Depeche toi Lorraine! Tu vas être en retard!" Needless to say, I always arrive on time. Lol

Réunion de rentrée à l'amphithéâtre


Impression of being back? Honestly, I'm quite delighted to be doing something again, to be back on learning. It's quite pleasing to see familiar faces too, and to meet new ones of course. It feels like the administration was more welcoming comparing my last semester. We even had a "Réunion de rentrée" where all the ILCF students were gathered in the amphitheater. 

I was assigned in an intermediate class. Since I already had a B1+ university diploma, the goal of the group is B2. We discussed about Lyon's history, culture and a painting of Monet. Surprisingly, we have a "cours magistral" where we'll discuss culture, politics, economics with the goal of being able to talk about it in french. It's a refreshing shift from the prior semester, probably because I'm already in an advanced group.

Anyway, this week's highlight for me was the discussion about different adjectives and their antonyms. It really piqued my interest because I do enjoy writing, and my favorite resource is the thesaurus. Lol I hope someday I would be able to write in French fluently, without the help of a Google translate. 

By Thursday, my professor asked me, to my surprise, if I wanted to change into an advance group. Because apparently, I already have a good level of French. Frankly, I wasn't considering it. But I do have the cognisance that the class was "not easy, but not difficult enough", it was just...average. She advised me to give it real thought. According to her, since I live with a French man I have the advantage of progressing faster not like the other students. 

Jardin Place Carnot, 13 oct 2022, 07:50


And so I questioned myself, should I stay in a group where I know I'll be at the top or should I go to another group where I will most likely be at the bottom? Should I step out of my comfort zone? Frankly, the answer was simple. Choose improvement, accept the challenge. Hence, I requested to be transferred. 

I choose to keep on adding to my toolbox. I choose to make more mistakes, and learn from them. And yes, truthfully, admittedly, I am terrified.

So yeah, that's the tea for the past two weeks. Ciao!
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Le train vient d'arriver sur la voie de Marseille. Pour la premiere fois, je rentre à Lyon depuis Hyères seule. Pour une fois, je n'ai pas peur d'être seul. Je sais que je peut y arriver. 

J'ai déjà fait certains voyages solitaires en Asie. Mais encore, c'est la premiere fois d'être seul en France. Je n'ai pas peur.

En poussant ma valise sur le quai, la sensation des voyages solitaires me manque soudain. Le sentiment d'être en endroit peu familière. Le sentiment d'entendre une langue inconnu. Le sentiment d'être enchanté en explorant une nouvelle ville, une nouveau culture. L'impression d'être terriblement seul, mais ravie et contente, en meme temps.

Je n'ai pas peur des souvenirs qui reviennent, des souvenirs qui me manque, 

Assise sur mon siege, je regardais l'horizon. Le ciel est gris, nuageux, à l'air sombre. Les forets et les champs sont toujours verts, luxuriants sous les ciels d'autumn. Le coucher du soleil est arrivé. Les petites touches de jaunes et oranges ont rendue le ciel plus attrayant. 

Lorsque j'arriverai à Lyon, ce sera le nuit avec les lumières, les bruits, et les flous de la ville.

Je n'ai pas peur de l'inconnu. Je n'ai pas peur d'avoir peur. Je n'ai pas peur. 

Mais j'ai pas peur d'oublier de ce moment, de ce sentiment - le plus vivante, le plus conscient de moi-même et de mon environnement. 

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COCO, la mignonne

Coucou, Voilà une nouvelle idée sur ce blog: au quotidien en français. Puisque j'aime lire et écrire de temps en temps (en anglais), j'ai décidé de canaliser cette passion d'une manière ou je puisse apprendre et améliorer mon niveau de français - une langue sûrement difficile mais charmante à la fois, souvent romantique selon les autres. Pardonnez-moi s'il y aura beaucoup de fautes. Mais je crois qu'on apprend en faisant des erreurs. Comme dans notre vie en général, on apprend chaque jour des choses nouvelles qui, par expérience, en commettent des erreurs. Premièrement, je ne suis pas sûr c'est que je vais parler. Je suis assise à la mezzanine en regardant Coco. Max et ses parents sont allés à l'hôpital. On est seules à la maison, savourant le silence. Ils arriveront à tout moment.

L'exact moment quant j'écrivais ce post. 


Coco, la chat qui à changé mon avis sur les chats. Je n'avais pas vraiment mon propre animal de compagnie. Quand j'étais petite, j'avais un petit chien que je traitais comme un bébé. Je ne suis pas sûr de ce que lui est arrivé. Ma mère s'en est probablement débarrassée. Mais c'est pourquoi je sais que je préfère les chiens aux chats. Sauf quand j'ai rencontré Coco, le chat de la mère de Max. 

 

C'est une Birmane sacrée. On dit que cette race est affectueuse et sociable. Mais, elle est tout le contraire. Elle est parfois agressive et porte toujours le "resting bitch face" (Je ne sais pas comment le traduire en français) Néanmoins, quand elle devient chaude pour vous elle peut être gentille et adorable. 

Je lui ai sans doute fait plein de câlins quand elle me voit, quelquefois, elle me les demande. Mais sûrement, elle est ennuyée contre moi quand je dérange sa sieste. 

 


Elle a 14 ans maintenant, 72 ans d'âge humain. J'espère qu'elle vivra autant d'années que possible. Ils sont arrivés, il est temps de préparer le déjeuner. Ciao.

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The trees overlooking our balcony started turning into the colors of autumn, and it was really beautiful to look at.

Years ago, I wrote a bucket list in an old journal, and one of them was "Experience all four seasons." And now, here I am, living across autumn sunshine, winds and rain with a mixture of warmth and cold.
I may be only appreciating it now (because I was too preoccupied with hating the cold), but there is certainly a joy in the changing of seasons.

There is a sheer delight in folding your summer clothes and placing them back into the cupboard, then re-putting your warm clothes in the closet, taking out your boots from the boxes and stashing away your open shoes which all fits into one drawer. It is like getting a new set of wardrobe! There is a joy in feeling warm despite the bitter cold, in noticing the changing of colors around— the leaves are turning orange, the sky with traces of blue on some days or full-on gray during rainy days. On having shorter days. It's a way of life. 

Our final few days in Hyères before returning to Lyon were not quite eventful. The weather was not so friendly, and it was really starting to get cold. We went for a run with his mum at a vineyard. I managed to do 4.15km in 33 minutes. Not too shabby for me. 

33 minute run at Domaine La Castille.


On our last weekend, we went to another flea market, which didn't really quite hit the mark. It was a mix of a regular market, a street market and a flea market. But hey, I found a long sleeved dress for only 1 euro, what a steal!

The day before our train to Lyon, we went to the Asian store to buy "chayote". I've been searching for it since I arrived in Lyon last January, and the only place where I found it, quite surprisingly, was in Hyères, in the south, in the country side, à la campagne. When I was volunteering at Restos du Cœur for food distribution, there was chayote to be given away. The other volunteers (most of whom were French) had no idea what kind of vegetable it is. It was initially sorted as a fruit, alongside apples and bananas. So I had to explain to them that it is a vegetable, and not a fruit. No one from the beneficiaries wanted to take it. Surprisingly, one French lady took a curiosity out of it and even requested me to write down "chayote" on her phone so she wouldn't forget. Anyway, that's my chayote story. Lol

This is what chayote looks like. We add this to Tinola, Max's favorite Filipino dish.


Besides that, I'm pretty shocked that there are more Philippine products in the Asian stores in Hyères than in Lyon. I purchased packs of powder sauce to make menudo, kare-kare and afritada. And also a jar of ube yam! 

Returning to Lyon after one month felt befitting. I was relieved to be back in the city, in our apartment with our well-cared plants. All thanks to our only Filipino friends in Lyon. More so, I felt delighted to be back in a familiar territory. After two weeks of travelling in Greece and three weeks in Hyères, it felt good being in our own place.

Our indoor plants last August before we left Lyon. When we came back, they were all still green and super healthy! 


However, due to some family circumstances, we decided to go back to Hyères after only three days of staying in Lyon. Also, since we still have a week or two left before classes and work start. But our three days in Lyon were quite eventful albeit brief. 

On a rainy Friday afteronon, we ate ramen at a Japanese restaurant. It was advertised as Izakaya, when obviously, people go there to eat ramen. (Izakaya is a Japanese pub where you can grab small dishes like tapas and have drinks). My Asian self always craves for ramen whenever it is cold. Quand il y a du vent, ramen. S'il fait froid, ramen. S'il fait frais, ramen. Lol

 

Days before this photo, I'm still on my shorts and shirts, but now I'm back to layering.


But it is with this kind of cold that it feels good to run outside. So we dragged our lazy butts outside and went for an interval run along the river — 1 minute run, 20 seconds rest, repeat 13 times. It's nice to inhale the green scenery and the river while sweating from the run, makes the running less of a suffering.

 



On a Saturday night, Max went out to meet his friends while I stayed indoor — played FFVII then watched two romance movies. That's what I would call a relaxing weekend.

For the first time again in a few months, I forced myself to go bouldering. Yay! I can't even remember the last time I did this, yet we used to boulder once a week in Singapore. I didn't realized how much I missed it until I was on the wall, solving boulder puzzles, and going up and down the routes. It felt pretty good. (My forearms still hurt as I am typing this.)

One of the bouldering zone at Climb Up.

After the bouldering session, we went to a friends' house for dinner, the only Filipinos I know in Lyon. And there, I met the third one. Lol We brought a home made apple crumble pie for dessert. It's been a long time since I last baked. 

 

Before and After photos of the Apple Crumble Pie.


The best part of the evening? We ate lechon kawali! Gahhhhd, my full blooded Asian self is dancing with joy hearing the crunchiness of the pork skin while I was devouring it. It was a feast just like any Filipino gatherings. I ate too much that I felt super bloated at the end of the night. 

Ginataang kalabasa, lechon kawali, and kare-kare! There was leche flan for dessert, but we forgot to take photo.

*****

Autumn is said to be the season of change and preparation, a season of growth and renewal. As the days become shorter and cooler, I can't help but feel a little sad that summer has come to an end. But this autumn will be the first in my lifetime and I'm excited to experience all things it has to offer. My next semester in the university will start in less than a week. Definitely, looking forward to meeting my new classmates and professors (and dressing up everyday again)! Meanwhile, I will enjoy the heat in the south whilst I still can. Ciao!
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I'm not yet in the mood of posting about our two-week summer adventure in Greece or finishing my TODO blogpost lists and travel videos. Guess I'm really a serial procrastinator. 🙃

Ever since I started this blog, I've always stuck to my personal goal that I do this (including my travel videos) so that years from now, I can look back and reminisce of the years past. I am also a serial "reminiscer". Lol I like looking at old photos, or reading my thoughts from years ago. 

So here I am, for now, let me just document what have happened in the last weeks since we got back from Greece. And also, today is the official start of autumn! Summer is over. Wala lang, walang konek.
(I hope this is the start of a weekly or bi-weekly self "news letter" blog posts, for my own sanity na din. I probably should think of a catchy phrase for this segment. :)

Max's friends came over and spend three nights with us at his parents' house. During those three days, we just ate, played games, walked around the city and on the beach, ate more, and did 15-minutes-sauna-then-plunge-into-the-cold-pool, repeated three times. Lol

Since the start of summer, I think I did more hikes than the previous years of my life combined. Lol I'm not really a big fan of hiking, but I do love doing it from time to time. Some of the best views should really be well-merited. 

Le Sentier du Littoral à Giens (Hyères) — With Max's friends, we did 4.5 kilometers of walk along the coast passing by beautiful beaches, and clear sea waters. The end of the hike was at the restaurant, of course. Then on our way back, we stopped at a "secret" beach to chill, snorkel and played games. 

Not a photo from the hike. A view of Hyéres from St. Paul church.

Voíla! View from our mini hike. 

There are still a lot of people chilling by the beach, even though the water was super cold.


Le Mont Fenouillet — the hill is located just in front of Max's parents' house. Not our first time here, but at the summit of only 291 metres, there is a 360 degree point of view of Hyeres and the surrounding towns, islands and sea. I really like it up there, it brings some kind of peace and quiet. The hike until the cross is only at about 1 hour with approximately 4.8km.


Le Mont Faron — a mountain at Toulon overlooking the city and roadstead. The summit is at 548 meters high. There were tons of paths to do, but we only did a small one with 6km in total loop. It lasted us around 1 hour and 40 minutes with some stops in between. We did this with Max's mom right after visiting his dad at the hospital. There is cable car going to the top where you can start the hike. We brought a car and the roads were a bit scary for me. Lol I slightly got dizzy on our way down. 

View of the city of Toulon.

You can see the line of the cable car from here.

At the summit of 540 meters.


Sentier du Littoral at Les Londes-les-Maures — Sentier littoral means coastal path. This is the most tiring, but the hike with the most beautiful views we did. The route is full of views of turquoise waters, scented pine forests, and white sand beaches. It was magnificent, albeit during a hot, sunny day. We did more than 14 kilometers back and forth with Max's mom. (She really sometimes amazes me how still sporty she is. Lol) We stopped a few hours at a beach to picnic and sleep a bit, then head our way back to the car.




Château d'Hyéres small trail — There are really a lot of paths and trails in Hyéres perfect for small hikes and walks. We did a 5 kilometer loop of quite an easy hike. The path reminded me of Pulau Ubin in Singapore though. It's bike-friendly and quite easy to navigate.



5 hikes in 2 weeks! Phew. Okay, enough with the hikes.


On one Saturday we went to a museum in the city center, and find out that it was free for a day was a delight! It was Journée du Patrimoine in which the open all museums, historic places, monuments, and remarkable places for free to the public. I didn't take a lot of photos though. The temporary exposition was about Georges Braque, a renowned artist of the 20th century. Then we also viewed some photos and paintings of Hyères from the previous years.

The only decent photo I took.

Lately, I've also been trying to learn how to draw. Drawing and dancing are two of my life biggest frustrations. I just don't get it. But anyway, I have Procreate on my iPad and with tons of YT tutorials, I managed to cartoonised some photos. I don't think I would be able to this without ProCreate though.

Max in his skateboard. 

LoMax in Corse.

We have also been working out every other day and doing 25-minute yoga from time to time. I really like the mini gym at Max's house. There's an indoor bike, an elliptical, a treadmill, a multi-function weight machine for arms, legs and back, and some small equipments.



We watched a small classical concert at a church in the city center. It was impressive. I'm not really familiar with classical music, and I liked it a lot. It reminded me of the grand palaces in Versailles. 



One Sunday we went to a flea market and we bought a vintage analog camera. I spent some hours researching about it, and it was quite difficult to find some information as it was part of a series released way back in 1957 until the late 1960s by a German company. Just yesterday, we finally put a film on it and I hope to God, it still works (and we did not ruin the film, lol).

Looks so freakin' cool! But super complicated. Lol

Then of course, a lot of cuddle time with Coco! She's so adorable. I'm not really into cats, but she completely changed my mind about them. 


Here she is in her center table listening to Max playing ukulele. 

She patiently waits outside the door until someone opens it for her. 


There were also days when we went to the beach hoping to watch a sunset, but the sky was obstructed by clouds. And days of just chilling at home, sipping tea or coffee. Of course, this isn't everything. There were still a lot in between, that I would probably leave out especially about Max's dad being sick. But we're both really glad that he's on his way to recovery. Hopefully faster! 

That's all for now. We still have less than a week in Hyères before we go back to the city. Less than a week to enjoy the country side feels!
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Lorraine

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