I was reading some blog yesterday, which made me realised, with all the time I had these past few months, why didn't I even try to go back to blogging. Short answer, because that's just me, only good with starting something.

 

Anyway, time really flies, no? It has been 7 months since I moved into Lyon. Whenever I meet new people (mostly friends of Max's family), they always ask me how has it been going for me in France, do I like it? "Ça te plait France?" "Comment était à Lyon?" And I'm always caught off guard by this question. So I often just say, "Oui, ça me plat bien sûr!" Voila, my short, non-conversational response. Hence, once and for all, let me tackle this question, for my own sanity, and for the next person who'll probably ask me.

I'm not lying when I say, "Yes, of course, I like it!" but probably, I was not convincing enough. To help me better articulate my thoughts ('cause I had a lot that I don't even know where to start), let me break down them into some obvious categories. 

Most obviously, this is the toughest part. For the record, I started learning French when I was still in Singapore, around January 2021 at Alliance Française Singapore. From the get go, it was difficult, but I loved it! I liked picking my brain and learning a new language. My classes every Monday and Wednesday were almost always the highlights of my week.

I was on an elementary level (A2) of French when I arrived last January 2022. Sure, having the basic French had helped me a lot. But man, it is an entirely different story when the locals speak. They converse fast, in slang, and most often times they shorten the phrases/words. It is nothing like what I learned in school. It was certainly overwhelming. 

Although, I was doing good in my French classes, the real-world application still gives me anxiety. I remember the first time I ordered a pain au chocolat at the boulangerie. The lady asked me if I wanted the receipt and I answered "Ha?" Lol. But hey, that gave me a sense of achievement. There's always a first! 

I still cannot hold a whole conversation in French without a pause, or thinking of my next word. 7 months in, and it's getting a bit easier I guess. Still difficult, but getting there. Just fake it, 'till you make it!

On my second day in France, we were on the metro and I smelled something weird. Turns out, it was a guy breaking weed. In the metro?!!! We were walking at Rue de Republique and I smelled the same thing. There was a man smoking weed. In the public??!! Of course, it's illegal. Such are the things that have surprised me, especially coming from a very proper and obedient citizenship country, Singapore. People here don't care. They will not snap a video of you if you're doing something out of the ordinary, just to post it on social media. (I remember this incident from Singapore.) I don't say that this applies to everything, of course.

On my first week, Max insisted that we should introduce ourselves to our neighbours. He said that's a polite thing to do when you're new. Being my introverted self, I didn't want to do it, so I just tagged along. (Good thing, only 1 out of our 3 neighbours opened their doors to us. Lol) Apparently, french are generally polite. There's always a merci or s'il vous plait on any formal interaction at the stores or restaurants. Shopkeepers will greet you Bonjour / Bonsoir, even when you're sharing a lift with someone or seeing someone at the lobby of your building. Or even so when we were hiking! It made me anxious at first, being a generally shy Asian girl. But I got used to it. It's like being in my small village in the Philippines, where almost everyone knows each and everyone.

On the other note, Sundays in France are not dedicated to work. Most shops are closed. People spend long lunches with family or friends which can last up to 5-6 hours. Even on weekdays, shops and malls close early at 7pm or 8pm. I guess, this only goes to show how much the culture values rest time. And I definitely approve of it! Coming from the fact that I hated working on weekends when I was in Singapore.
I probably should dedicate one whole post of my culture shocks in France. Lol

I wouldn't say that I approved of everything that is considered as norm here in France. (Especially the "la bise". I hate it, it makes me uncomfortable) I still question why I cannot do groceries on Sundays. But living here has kept me an open mind. Integrating into this different culture is highly important to be able to dwell, and also, out of respect to the French as well.

When we were planning our move, one of Max's biggest worry for me was the change in weather. True enough, it was harsh. 

I arrived in the peak of winter, which was end week of January. At first, it was just like a winter vacation for me. Layering my winter clothes, wearing boots, thinking of which scarf to use. But after three weeks or so, it was tiring. I couldn't take a shower properly, but then I cannot go on a day without a shower. I kept on complaining why it was so cold. Lol I got tired of wearing layers of clothing. Sometimes I couldn't sleep that I had to ask a Vitamin D shot from the doctor. As of writing, I don't look forward to winter. Lol

As the season change, winter into spring and spring into summer, the landscapes also changed. The leafless tree in front of our balcony turned into green for summer. There were flowers everywhere last spring. I had to store away my winter sweaters. It's nice though, the changing of seasons. Even though, summer was harsh (especially without the AC :) I only dreamt of living through four seasons, and now I'm experiencing it. Autumn is yet to come, so let's see. 

I remember exploring a beautiful university in Taipei last 2017, and pictured myself going back to school, sitting on the school grounds while studying. Fast forward to today, who would've thought of me going back to university at this age, and learning French?!

The first day was full of excitement. I looked forward to seeing who, what type, which nationalities my classmates will be. Not to mention, I was evidently, one of the oldest in the group. Others were as young as 18. But who cares, it's never too late nor too early to learn?

One semester has gone by, and it was definitely a fun and an eye opener experience for me, albeit exhausting. My schedule was 4 hours per day with 4 days per week. You can imagine how always tired I am by the end of the day. It's like using all my brain cells to think, and mostly to memorise — grammar rules, conjugation, new words, etc. I think I am still that same competitive student as I was when I was young. I stressed out when there are exams to come. I make sure to do my home works and did advance readings. I really took it seriously (knowing how expensive we paid for the course).

As with anyone living away from family, it is of course, challenging. But I like to think that I am used to it. The time difference is absolutely a major factor. Lately, I made more effort on reaching out to my friends by messaging them randomly, getting some news from them. I call my mom twice or thrice a week. I'm still that person who takes days to reply sometimes, but at least I'm trying. 

Gone are the days when I can go back to the Philippines even just for the weekend. Grateful for that two month vacation I had back home before moving to France, really. Hopefully, I can go back next year, and with Max.

Honestly, I don't think I need new friends, or a new social network. Like the in real sense of the word friends. Of course, we have Max's friends, who are all very nice (and don't mind speaking english when I'm around). I have some of my classmates who I hang out with sometimes. I go to student gathering in hopes of meeting someone I can jive with, but it's difficult to make friends when you're already an adult. The standards are higher, I guess.

Don't get me wrong. Maybe I am not trying enough. Mais franchement, I don't really want to try harder than what I do. I'm okay with the friends I have, even though they're far. I enjoy my free time at home. Who knows, maybe I'll meet someone by accident and him/her a new best friend. But surprise,  I don't need one. 

I will not lie. The hardest part of me moving to France was not the language, nor the culture. But it was the feeling that a part of my independence was taken away. For the most part of my adult life, there was only me. I earned for myself, and for my family. Then here I am now, 10 years after, relying on Max on a lot of things. It surely take a toll on me. There are nights when I would just cry, and feel helpless. Going out alone makes me anxious, likes there's a hoard of crocodiles waiting outside to devour me. 

It is still a work in progress. But it's getting easier in time. A friend once asked if I am ready to let go the lifestyle I had in Singapore. I don't remember what my answer was. But honestly, nothing much was change. Good thing I'm not a shopaholic, I don't need a lot of money. Lol 

All hats to Max for being a very supportive and understanding jowa. His parents are also nothing but nice and welcoming to me. And that warms my heart so much. 

"Oui, j'aime bien! Les paysages ressemblent un peu aux Philippines, avec des montagnes et les plages. Mais la nourriture Asiatique me manque!" My long-version answer when someone asks me about France. Moreover, I like how the past feels alive here, with the ancient buildings and architectures everywhere. I like living in Lyon where the mountains and the beaches are just 2 or 3 hours away. (Sorry, not really a fan of Paris for living conditions. That's another story to tell :)

Apart from this, I love the fact that although I am just a student, I am entitled to a free health care. Again, welcome to a socialist country! 

It is a known-fact that most foreigners have this idealistic view about France, and French people. But seeing and experiencing it first hand, it also has its pros and cons. Indeed, France as a country is beautiful and charming. It is not as clean and proper as Singapore. It even smells like in pee in some places. But like all other places, it is not perfect. 

Frankly, I am not there yet. It's too early to say, isn't it? I don't see myself moving back to the Philippines anytime in the near future. My hope is to find a job here, and experience the working life in France. Can I consider myself settled in Lyon already? No, not really. As I say, it is still a work in progress. I still get delight in the process of exploring Lyon as a home base. And the best thing is being able to travel around Europe! (which I will hopefully blog sometime)

"I guess it's going well. It's difficult, of course, with the language barrier and cultural differences. Sometimes, I feel lost. But I'm trying to get used to it, and integrate myself as much as I can. I have to go out of my comfort zone a lot. I like the how France have a variety of landscapes like the Philippines. And also the past feels alive here, with the ancient building and structures. That really pleases me. I sometimes miss Asian food though, but apart from that,  I think I'm thriving."

Voila, my perfectly curated honest-to-God answer whenever asks me how am I doing in France. I'm writing all these so I won't forget. Maybe 6 or 7 months from now, I'd have a new perspective. One can never know.