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| Sunset at Lake Como. 26 april 2023 |
I've been pondering about the phrase Max's mom said "he lived a life far from superficial". Since then, it never left my mind. I started questioning myself, "Am I living a superficial life?", "Am I touching the world in a profound manner?", "Am I being touched by the world in a profound manner?", "Is it me being aware of how superficial my life has been?"
So I did what I thought would help me figure this out, I gave up Instagram. It's been almost two months now (Wow, as if anyone noticed at all). Because in all honesty, it's all what I see in social media these days, "superficiality." People caring more about how they look than their character. Shallow and materialistic people, feeling like the world revolve around them. Or am I just being too negative here? I guess, of course, there are ways to curate our social media experiences. I'll maybe get into that in weeks time.
I have this irking fear of going back into work. What if I fail? What if they find out that I'm just an impostor? I have so many what ifs. Since I move to France, my life has been filled with a lot of challenges, so what is another challenge to face, right? I guess by writing this, it's me trying to encourage myself. And also, I guess, this is me proving I'm not living a life of superficiality.
Just an after thought, totally not related, lol. Don't you realize there's a million universe out there in the form of books waiting for us to get lost into? Those universes made by another person's mind. It's just simply amazing, to feel like escaping into that universe, to feel like being the main character. I could spend hours leaving my physical human form and letting my mind be devoured, escaping my reality. I wish I'd have that ability, ability to create my own universe.
And another after thought, how do we get away from staying at the periphery of life? How do we get deeper? But then, why bother? It seems easier to stay in the surface anyway. Maybe I'm a superficial person, just pretending to be deep. Or maybe life is just as superficial as how we make it.
So I did what I thought would help me figure this out, I gave up Instagram. It's been almost two months now (Wow, as if anyone noticed at all). Because in all honesty, it's all what I see in social media these days, "superficiality." People caring more about how they look than their character. Shallow and materialistic people, feeling like the world revolve around them. Or am I just being too negative here? I guess, of course, there are ways to curate our social media experiences. I'll maybe get into that in weeks time.
I have this irking fear of going back into work. What if I fail? What if they find out that I'm just an impostor? I have so many what ifs. Since I move to France, my life has been filled with a lot of challenges, so what is another challenge to face, right? I guess by writing this, it's me trying to encourage myself. And also, I guess, this is me proving I'm not living a life of superficiality.
Just an after thought, totally not related, lol. Don't you realize there's a million universe out there in the form of books waiting for us to get lost into? Those universes made by another person's mind. It's just simply amazing, to feel like escaping into that universe, to feel like being the main character. I could spend hours leaving my physical human form and letting my mind be devoured, escaping my reality. I wish I'd have that ability, ability to create my own universe.
And another after thought, how do we get away from staying at the periphery of life? How do we get deeper? But then, why bother? It seems easier to stay in the surface anyway. Maybe I'm a superficial person, just pretending to be deep. Or maybe life is just as superficial as how we make it.
*****
Anyway, that phrase was a part of Max's mom eulogy for his dad. I hope I get to read this post years from now, and tell myself, "Good job! I also lived my life far from superficial."
