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one last (?) photo with miss marina


A little backdrop. I came to Singapore almost seven years ago with the hope of earning more for my family, like most Filipinos do. I didn't see myself being an Overseas Filipino Worker. The opportunity landed on my lap, and I instantly grabbed it. The first few months were difficult, my weekly run downs to the province to spend time with family were no longer a thing. I needed to make new friends. But I'd say I adapted pretty well. Months pass by, then years. 

I loved Singapore, the ease of access to a lot of countries, being able to go home to the Philippines every few months or so, the convenience, a safe and clean environment, the varieties of food everywhere, a public transport system that actually works, a (very) good wage. My life in the Lion City was good, that is not debatable. 

It would be a lie to say that Singapore (the country itself) has been a "home", but rather, it was a refuge for the past six and a half years. The people I met there and the people I spent my time with, my friends, my colleagues, a few of my relatives, Max, that was home, they were my home in Singapore. 

But when the pandemic hit, we all found ourselves in a crazy new world, in a "new normal" with restrictions and safety protocols. I admit, I really think I was lucky enough to be in Singapore at the height of the pandemic. The government indeed handled it well. 

However, above all these, was a reality check, a major personal truth. There was still a question continually hovering at the back of my mind. Do I want to continue living here, living like this? In a country where living to work is more prioritized than enjoying life, where work is valued above everything else, where spending weekends on your job is a norm, where hustling at your job is more celebrated than upgrading the quality of life, where mental health is never talked about. In Singapore, your status and how much you earn are perceived as a symbol of success (I guess this fact is common in most countries especially Asia). In a country so small, you can literally bike through the whole island in one day. 

It didn't fit what I wanted out of life, nor it didn't resonate my own values. I didn't want to continue living in a place that no longer feeds my soul, my hunger and thirst of seeing everything; in a place that I want to regularly escape from. 

Hence, albeit anxious, I finally made a personal choice to leave the comfort of my life in Singapore, and venture in a new chapter. I didn't want my 2022 to be just like my 2021. With the grip of this pandemic, it would be years before everything becomes certain, and I don't want to spend another year being a slave to a society. It was a conscious and calculated decision. 

I know for a fact that my life would not be the same like in Singapore, is it for better or for worse? I don't know exactly, but that's the beauty of not knowing. It's scary and even until now, as I write this in the comfort of my quarantine hotel in Manila, I still asked myself if I made the right decision. But there's no turning back now. Life is too short not to take chances. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, into the unknown. 

Singapore is a lovely place, it is definitely worth visiting. But life is shorter than ever, so what are we waiting for?


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Lorraine

"Here is where I un-clutter my random musings, from mundane to profound and vice versa.”


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