Second loss this year. What a bummer. And this time, it hit harder, down to the core. 

My Lolo died, or as how I called him growing up, Daddy died, in the most unexpected, excruciating way. He suffered a stroke and it took 3 hours before a hospital finally admitted him. Welcome to the Philippines, where patients have to wait for hours even to be admitted to an emergency room, where health care is suffocated due to the pandemic, but people doesn't really care and knows not a thing about social responsibility.

I don't have the fondest memories of Lolo growing up. But I remember whenever we stay at his house during the summer or Christmas vacation, in the mornings, we will be awakened by his full blast music of old songs from the radio. Most of the time, those of Elvis Presley's. I remember being scared of him, even the littlest thing of asking him to change the TV channel at night because I want to watch something else and he was watching the news. He was such a tiger Lolo. But he makes the best homemade chicharon, ahhhh. 

He used to be an alcoholic, drinking cheap gin all day like it's water. There was this one night, me and my Kuya were vacationing at his house, he went home very drunk. We were already sleeping and were awakened by his shoutings. You can imagine being in a small, crunched apartment with just one room, you can hear everything. He spewed hurtful words towards us, and I was just probably crying. One of my uncles couldn't take it anymore, and took us both (me and my Kuya) to another uncle's house in the middle of the night. 

But as I grew old and my Lolo grew older, he stopped his vices and all I can remember is his warm, welcoming smile every time I visit him with the kids. He would tell us kuwentos about when I was small or when he was still working overseas. He kind of resembles that grandpa from Up (lol). 

Losing someone and not being able to be with the family physically makes the grief a hundred times more difficult. Going back to the Philippines will never, ever be the same.

My only condolence now is that my Lolo is with my Lola. Daddy finally being reunited with Mommy, now he can make lambing to her in heaven. They're together watching over us. 

Rest in paradise Daddy, hug Mommy for me. I will keep on listening to Elvis Presley for you.