In the little corner of my living room, working from home (or at least trying to.)

Lockdown, outbreak, new cases, quarantine, circuit breaker, pandemic, new normal — these are the new terms we had heard almost every day this past 6 months. Six months. SIX MONTHS. Six, freaking, months into the year. Where did all the time go?

I have not taken this "disease" very seriously, not until PH government have imposed a total lockdown, and all my plans of spending my birthday at the beach and seeing my family shattered. I was still under the belief that this is the "best time" to travel, right when almost all Chinese tourists are gone. There would be lesser crowd, I said. And in the span of weeks, almost all countries went into lockdown. Even Singapore. I have never thought that I would live in a such a day where we have to wear masks every day, and going outside is prohibited.

Days before the SG government went into a Circuit Breaker mode, I was in total nuts against my work because they have not allowed us, the contractors, to work from home yet. WFH instructions were only given to those permanent staff. And in this kind of trying times, this says a lot about how the employer treats their employees. Then one day, everyone was not allowed to go to the office any more.

In a snap, our every day routine changed. No more dressing up for work, I even work all day in my pajamas sometimes. No more putting on makeup. No more wearing heels. No more morning read while commuting to work (I miss that). No more lunch outs. No more after work drinks. No more meet up with friends. (I cannot even remember the last time I saw my friends.) No more travels and vacations to look forward. For three months, we were all stuck at home, trying to be as productive as needed. I can't believe it has been three months already. This is, by far, the longest time I've been away from home. Months long, and counting. I miss my family, terribly. I miss the kids.

I'm lucky, though, as I was not alone. It must have been so terrible for those people who got stuck alone somewhere. I feel guilty, sometimes. Almost everyone's life stopped. Some are suffering to make ends meet, lost their jobs; millions got the disease, hundred thousand people died; whilst here I am, found someone, in this kind of trying times. Days at home were less mundane. I don't know how I would have survived this pandemic, I might have gone insane in the first week.

This pandemic is certainly one of the greatest challenges that human kind faced. It has pushed us to the edge. But what have we learnt so far? Why does the world not seem to be kinder than yesterday? Why are there still injustices everywhere? The skies are bluer than before. Pollution is less. When can we realize that Earth does not need us, human beings?

We have now entered in the new normal. But when will the new normal become the normal?

I have forgotten how the sand feels on my feet, nor the taste of the ocean.

Nowadays, I look forward to grocery runs, and Longboard sessions.

It was a normal busy working day, with the holidays just around the corner, and the cold seasonal air starting to sweep in. The lights around the city were singing like an orchestra in a festive melody.

They decided to meet, the boy and the girl. It was outside the train station, in the middle of a hundred passers-by - two strangers among others, stumbled a sense of familiarity lingering in each other's eyes, as if they have already seen each other from another universe.

The night started out awkwardly, but then invited into earnest conversations, throwing questions into each other akin to dancing in a fast paced music. It was as though if one stop, the wall will break and reveal a kind of affection that has somehow always been there.

She asked him about the book he's currently reading. He asked her about the places she has been. She asked him about the music he likes. He asked her about the kind of job she has. They talked, and talked; and dig one another's rooted persona. The night ended with their hands clasped together, and a mystic kind of feeling hovering, but no one dares to speak.


In an old commercial building, the two strangers, the boy and the girl met again. They ate steamed barbecue, and it was her first time. There's nothing special about it, he said. I still want to try, she answered back. But the truth is, it was just her excuse to see him again.

"Sit beside me, will you?", said the boy somehow irritated.

"Why?", the girl answered.

"Don't stare at me. You're making me uneasy." he replied shyly.

It was his eyes that she liked the most. The eyes are the windows to the soul, they say. And from those windows, she saw sadness, and how he's trying to hide something from her, from the universe. But she did not say this loud enough for him to hear, instead, she leaned forward and kissed him.

The boy found solace, and reprieve on the girl. She slowly turned to be his own little star, luminous and familiar with her unique appealing characteristics. And to her, his laughter was like a warm blanket or a familiar song, comfortable and homely. They continued seeing each other, hearing one another's stories, laughing together, and doing silly things. Two very lonely people, unaware of the million possibilities they might end up with.


On the day before Christmas, the boy needed his star, desperately and longingly. But it was that moment they realized, in the midst of the blinding joy that existed in the heated space between them, there was a feeling of despondent yearning, like a vehemently flaming fire, ready to burn all those times they have shared together.

He was sad, and desolate. And he did not know where it all were coming from. Still, there she was, ready to absorb all his blues away. She had sought the love she thought she sowed — gripping with both hands while losing all her senses, trying to save him. The vast space that they have filled with affection, and adventures gradually evolved into blanket of nothingness. The star slowly lost its sparkle, like a flickering dragon fly, waiting for its inevitable death.

The boy did not want to be saved, and the girl can only do so much.

The boy and the girl did not meet again, and they would probably regret that one chance they didn't even try, out of all those million possibilities.


Where does their story fit, anyway?