It was a dreadful rainy night that kept me stranded at that old stinky mall. After two hours of waiting, much to my dismay, I decided to take the train and delay my plan.

I can’t exactly recapture where I first saw him. If my memory serves me well, it was on that train platform track. He was wearing that dark-blue team jacket, the one thing I would want to wear for him. He looked so bare, simple and relax, despite the night sky’s heavy downpour.

I lost track of him in the train. The next thing I knew, he exited at the building’s elevator the same time I alighted from the other lift. We probably had ridden the same bus to the office, I would never know. Then our eyes met for an instant… and that was the longest split second I could remember. Regrettably, I shyly looked away. I should have thrown you a smile. Or I should have introduced myself. I was in the momentum of my enchantment that I have forgotten how it should be.

But nevertheless, I thank you for at least looking at my way. I would never forget that shy look on your face and it was a nice sight to start my day.

I do. I did. Not only with a broken heart, but also with a frenzied, chaotic mind, with a muddled soul. I slept, nonetheless. But I woke up just the same, with that same inconsolable heart. However, at least, I was able to perhaps escape the cruel reality even just for a few hours.

And that, my darling, is comfort.

To No One,

It's been a while now. I haven't talked to you for quite a long time already. I have been caught up of this life's everyday errands that I forgotten there was you.

I missed you, you know. How we used to talk endlessly for hours until the sun come shining in again. How there are things that only us can understand, our secret little rendezvous. How we both love the smell of old books, and hates coffee even if the weather is asking for it. How we hide under the intangible things inside the four corners of my dark little room. How we get lost in another universe while reading a damn good novel. How we can walk and walk and walk and forget the spinning world behind us.

Now, I only see the little echo of what is left of you. There was you, a bit of everything of you. Whenever I look at myself in the mirror and see those darkening bags under my eyes, whenever I pass by at the street noticing my fading reflection, whenever my chaotic mind keeps me awake all night. But it was no longer the questioning eyes we used to have. It was no longer the blissful frenzy like we used to share.

I have long stopped asking myself. I unintentionally left you and now I missed you. I guess, the inevitable happened, life.

With a little spark of hope left,

Raine xx

When I learned that Malacca is listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, I decided that this would be the place for my first solo travel (The whole experience shared on this post!). It somehow reminds me of Macau, except for the weather of course.

Malacca or Melaka in Malay is considered as the "Historic State" of Malaysia, located on the west coast of the peninsula. The tourism mostly centres on its unique history and culture due to the previous colonizations from different races such as Portuguese, Dutch and British.

(Please excuse the bad quality of the photos as it was very hazy that day and I didn't had a good camera with me.)

The Heritage Trail

After dropping my bags at the hotel, I headed into the town square and started the heritage trail. First things first, grab a map at the Tourist Information Office. It's being given to the tourists for free, just ask the receptionist and they'd be very glad to help.

Across the Tourist Information Office is the what they call the Dutch Square. It could be distinguished by a group of bright, terracotta-red colonial Dutch buildings built between 1660 and 1700.

Located in the Dutch Square is Malaysia's oldest Protestant Church, the Christ Church Melaka which was built in 1753.

Near the Christ Church Melaka is the Stadthuys which means City Hall in Dutch. It is also called the Red Square as it boasts an antique fountain right in front of it. Stadthuys was built in the 1650s to serve as the Governor's residence. Nowadays, it is considered as Malacca's premiere museum since it houses the History and Etnography Museum.

And of course, who wouldn't notice these colorful trishaws right on the Dutch Square! They offer a tour around the town for a very affordable price. Another thing, most has blasting party music that will make the experience more fun. Though, I opted to walk than ride in a trishaw.

Continuing the trail is the hike up to St. Paul's Hill where the St. Paul Church was built in 1521. Only the ruins of the church and lighthouse remains. A statue of St. Francis Xavier stands in front of the church.

Going down from the St. Paul's Hill is a string of museums and heritage buildings.

Another museum worth visiting is the Melaka Sultanate Palace. The wooden building is only a replica of the 15th century palace of the Sultan of Malacca. It displays the history of the ancient Malay Kingdom. Entrance is 10MYR per adult.

Right in the front of Melaka Sultanate Palace is this beautiful garden which is said to be forbidden as the princesses were not allowed to play inside the garden.

At the end of the Sultanate Palace is the Dutch Graveyard. However, the cemetery only houses 5 graveyards.

There were still a lot of museums to see but I wasn't able to go as I was already exhausted 

and hungry. I went back to the Red Square passing along the Melaka River.

Jonker Street Walk

I went straight to Jonker Street to get some food. Jonker Street was once famous for its antique shops. But nowadays, it is one of Malacca's famous tourist spot due to the range of cafes, bars and restaurants that offers a wide range of cuisines.

Every Fridays and Saturdays, Jonker Walk has a night market that sells everything from tasty treats to cheap souvenirs. I was there a little early so I opted to dine at Geographer's Cafe - a corner lot pub that sells Malaccan food.

That is what I kept on telling myself for the past few months now. I wish it could be that easy. I have been dreading to go and wander and explore. My wanderlust soul has been bothering me for quite some time already. I told the best friend "Gusto kong umalis. Yung mag-isa. Susuportahan mo naman ako 'di ba?" With an inquisitive face, she said, "Baka naman naho-homesick ka lang." But no, I wasn't (maybe a little bit). I was pretty sure that it was what I craved, that strong desire to wander - alone.

So the moment I finally got my ways, I did my research, booked my tickets and hotel and just said "Bahala na". Oh yes, finally - I am going somewhere.

Why Malacca, Malaysia? Counting this as my first solitary travel, I wanted to go somewhere nearby and Malacca is just a bus ride away from Singapore. I was also amazed when I saw the historical points of interests it has on pictures. I wanted to see it by myself and take a look into its rich culture.

In all honesty, I didn't feel any hesitations when I embarked on that bus because I know that it is what I really ache for. However, when the bus arrived in Malacca, I felt a little terrified. The only person who knows that I was in MY was the best friend and she doesn't even know the details of it. My big plan was a big "Bahala na."  Haha! Of course, I did my research on the itinerary and transportation and all. But it is still different when you're already there. Nonetheless, when I arrived at Malacca town and saw the tourists, I couldn't help myself but to smile. I was both excited and terrified!

The sky during that day was covered with haze over a thin layer of clouds, not a patch of blue visible anywhere. The air was hot and crisp - a good weather to explore the city. I dropped my things at the hotel and went out for the long walk. I walked and walked and walked. I went museum hopping, admired the old and new infrastructures, watched people, talk to the locals. Learning, reading, and watching as I go along. I seemingly got lost although I know where I am going. I went to a cafe, asked for a table for one and ate alone. I went on a food trip on their night market full of strange looking dishes and delicacies. I talked to a local who knows a few Filipino words.

By the end of the day, I was nothing but exhausted. I sat at the park and just watched the people, listening to their language, though I didn't understand a thing of what they're saying. A little ragged boy came up to me, pointing to my food. I asked him if he wants it, but I cannot understand him, then just went away. Then there was this man holding a little baby girl and teaching her how to smoke for picture's sake. An artist asking to draw my face for 50MYR. I realized this could be one of the best tourist activities in every city - watching people, people-watching.

One thing I loved during this whole experience was that people didn't look at me like I was a freak walking alone. They didn't stare at me with questioning eyes. Though there were a few Filipino tourists doing the opposite to which I just a returned a friendly smile.

But of course, not everything didn't turn out as planned. There was a point when I just wanted to go home and kept thinking, what on earth have I got myself into? I won't go down into details, but I am so proud of myself for being able to collect myself altogether.

Yes, it was a short trip. I was all alone in a foreign land for two days, surrounded by strangers, without internet access and a familiar soul. It felt liberating and at the same time daunting. Still, I went home with self fulfillment and new experiences. Achievement unlocked indeed!

Hello Stranger,

I know you, but you might not know me.

So let it be known that I liked you.
I liked you even from the littlest things I know of you.

The way you tuck your hair behind your ears.
The number of folds you do on your pants just so it will perfectly fit.
The dark, dimmed clothes you always wear.

I like your deafening silence when I am around.
But moreover the sound of your voice when I’m afar.
Those peculiar laughs that could only belong to you.
That almost always pale-skin-face of yours.
And the crease that forms when you flash your full smile.

Little do you know, but I liked you.

I like you from the three-second glances I secretly do.
Or your scenery from my peripheral view.
How you lost yourself while listening to your own music.
And the oddity you become when you make that bizarre harmony.

Most of all, I like you for not liking me..

When I started this blog months ago, I told myself that I won't post anything (too) personal here. Besides, I have this 'secret' blog/site where I vent all my dramas and let my alter ego be whoever s/he want to be. Now, that's not much of a secret anymore.

But somehow, I changed my mind. Why not, right? The subtle fact of not giving a damn would be perfect for this comeback post after a very long hiatus.

Writing this in the middle of the night, when all I can hear is the hissing sound of the air conditioner and when my brain won't let me sleep, but rather think of all the non-sensical random things there is. I have been living/working in Singapore for two months now, trying to avoid a monochromatic, routinary life (wow, seryoso, 2 months pa lang??). Still the same independent life I have in Manila – do my laundry, struggle for what to eat every meal, do grocery shopping, organize and mess up my things, make my bed, budget (or not) my money. I still take the bus to and forth the office.

I'm not actually sure where this post is leading into. I have way too many unfinished writings on my drafts page so allow me to put this into its end state.

So good night love, may your dreams be filled with all the possibly beautiful things one can ever dream of.

I have mentioned on my previous post that it has somehow become a 'tradition' of our barkada to have an annual summer getaway. But unfortunately this year, we didn't have a chance to continue that 'tradition'. Being the frequent organizer of our group, plans were made, but everyone was so freaking busy. Our schedules just didn't meet and time is of a constraint. The peak of summer season had passed and rains are starting to say hello.

Thankfully last weekend (June 20-21), it finally went through. Yay! I was actually a little desperate to make it happen just before me and Cindy leaves for SG. Anyway, our supposed group of 11 went down to 6. It was only us, the girls, who were able to make it. The guys ditched us (you know who you are, you guys owe us! Ha-ha).

So thinking of it as a blessing in disguise, the usual barkada outing became an all-girl weekend escape. Yass! So we drove all the way to Sinagtala Farm Resort at Orani, Bataan without much preparation. Ha-ha! No itinerary or whatsoever, only a room reservation and a few grocery items.

I have never heard of Sinagtala before and it was actually my friend's suggestion to go there. I read a little about it on other blogs and from what I saw, the place was very scenic and relaxing. However, we were surprised at how secluded and unfrequented it was. We had to drive a little more than 8km from the highway on a steep road. Nevertheless, the place was worth the long drive. It is literally a farm or like a ranch with seas of green with plants and trees all around.

When it's time for dinner, that's when we realized the things we were lacking. Haha! No ice, knife, matches, Sprite for the vodka, pitcher, etc. Ganda lang kasi ang dinala! Lol Good thing there was a rice cooker and a griller that the caretaker let us used. Even so, my friends had to drive outside to buy other stuff. It was raining and the surrounding was really dark as there were no street lights. A little creepy, yes, but we were able to manage it altogether.

Although it was pretty much raining during our whole stay, it didn't stop us from taking a lot of photos and enjoying the company of each other. Kami pa ba? Ha-ha There are really a lot great spots for photo op especially the infinity pool. Though the view would have been better if not for the cloudy sky. We were swimming while it was raining. Lol

I think I must say we literally had a retreat. And I have to say this, we're really proud of ourselves as we were able to pull off this outing successfully. Ha-ha! It was indeed a great and relaxing weekend escape.

Tanawin - this is the villa where we stayed. We rented one room good enough for 6 people and the place was actually spacious.

Go-pro situations right here. Lol.

  "We can have more than one soulmate in life. She's my soulmate in a best friend kind of way " -  Photo captioned by Cindy. 

Nights that turned into mornings are the best. 

"Kelangan ko na masanay na wala ka Cindy " - photo captioned by Jhen.

And oh, did I mention that they have a very sporadic network signal? Talk about having a retreat and digital detox! Ha-ha